Bethenny Frankel warns against turning kids against ex amid painful divorce
Bethenny Frankel tells followers not to use children against an ex, while recalling her own 10‑year, “worst‑of‑my‑life” divorce and primary custody of 16‑year‑old daughter Bryn.
Bethenny Frankel posted a video urging parents not to turn children against their ex‑spouse, citing her own decade‑long, “worst‑of‑my‑life” divorce. The warning matters because it highlights how personal trauma can shape public advice on co‑parenting.
In an Instagram video posted Sunday, former "Real Housewives of New York" star Bethenny Frankel warned parents not to enlist their children against an ex‑spouse, a stark admonition that sits beside her own description of a decade‑long, "worst‑of‑my‑life" divorce.
What we know
According to Page Six, Frankel told her followers, "Do not try to turn your kids against your ex." She added that even the most "active, proactive, or subtle" attempts to alienate a child will eventually backfire, saying, "No matter how abusive, controlling, problematic your ex is, you will end up turning your kid against you." The former reality‑TV personality urged parents to keep their anger and misery to themselves, emphasizing a "long game" approach that prioritizes the child's future.
Frankel's warning follows a recent update she gave on the "Friends Keep Secrets" podcast, where she described the past year as "strained" and "challenging." She recounted that her divorce from ex‑husband Jason Hoppy was a "traumatic" experience she likened to "torture," noting that the couple split in 2012 but did not finalize their divorce until 2021. The 55‑year‑old swimwear designer said the legal battle spanned ten years, calling it "horrible, horrendous, worst‑of‑my‑life" after a two‑year marriage.
Frankel was granted primary residential custody of their 16‑year‑old daughter, Bryn. She has spoken publicly about the emotional toll, recalling that she "lost hair" and once thought she "would never survive" the split. On the "Call Her Daddy" podcast in December 2025, she said, "I had to because of my daughter. I literally thought, ‘I’ll never be happy again.’" Despite the hardship, she expressed deep affection for Bryn, noting that they often "vibe" together, watching shows and laughing.
Public statements
"Do not try to turn your kids against your ex," Frankel said in the Instagram video.
"It’s been a strained year. It’s been a challenging year," she told the podcast host.
Both remarks were reported by Page Six and reflect her current stance on co‑parenting.
Background on the split
Frankel and Hoppy's relationship began with a two‑year marriage that quickly descended into a decade of legal battles. Their daughter Bryn, now 16, was the sole reason Frankel says she survived the ordeal. The divorce was finally settled in 2021, granting Frankel primary residential custody.
Sources
File photo: Boss Tweed from New York / Wikimedia Commons, CC BY 2.0